18 Springs

Eighteen springs ago, I selected two kittens from this bundle to be my companions for 17 years. The kitten at the far left came to us as and remaind "Bella" - she was the breeder's pick of the litter. The kitten to the far right became known to us a "Grumbles" - a name that his actions and demeanor demanded (I don't even remember what the breeder had named him as he name changed the first time I fed him, it changed to Grumbles).

I do wonder if either of the siblings outlived my pair or even lasted as long as my pair. I know that Jagger - the one crawling on top of the pile - was the last adopted because he had some early health issues. Never knew the name of the fourth kitten as she was already promised to another before I selected Bella (and came back for Grumbles).

Cats Are Great

...If you like to receive daily doses of neglect and disapproval.

Over my 42 years, I've had several sets of cats. Currently, I've a brother/sister pair of bengals. For cats, they're pretty damned social. They love people. The love to just hang out. If they were politically motivated, they'd be part of the "Occupuy Your Lap" movement.

Even so, they're still cats. If they do something ungraceful - such as falling out of their cat-tree - they give you that "you didn't see nothing" look. If you've left them home alone to long, they'll sit in the center of the room ...with their backs to you, very pointedly ignoring you.

Still, this pair is a lot better than most of the cats I've encountered over the years. I've never understood friends who've had cats that only ever seem to come around when they're hungry - otherwise hiding under a couch or some other dark, quiet nook in their owner's house or apartment.

Morning Games

Living with cats is always an olfactory adventure. Even if you keep their box scrupulously clean and the cats are quiet and out of sight, whenever you walk into a home with cats, you know it instantly.

Aside from the ever present scent of eau de cat, other smells can come up. Today was one of those days. I came down from bed to telecommute (it's a documentation week). As I'm sitting on my couch, tapping away at a document with "KLG and Hoda" blaring in the background, I notice a kind of rotty smell. I'd assumed it was something in the trash, but that wasn't it. I didn't see anything within sight that would account for it, either.

I wanted to just ignore it. Unfortunately, it was one of those odors that you couldn't just ignore (and, it was only after finding it's source that I figured out why that was). So, I got up off the couch and began to try to localize the smell. Oddly, no matter which direction away from my couch I went, the smell quickly faded. I thought to myself, "not good: that means the smell is in or under where I'm sitting". Awesome.

I got down on my hands and knees to see if I could spy the source of the smell. Bare knees on hardwood floors sucks, by the way. After wracking my knees, I was at least able to determine that I couldn't see the smell source, but that it appeared to be emanating from under the couch rather than from within it. Small victories, I suppose.

I stood up, and began to clear the area to where I'd need to move the couch. Once cleared, I slid the couch out - muttering under my breath about yet more scratches to the hardwood being caused by the couch grinding grit across the floor. There, dead center of the spot previously covered by the couch was the rotting body of a mouse.

I can only surmise that, due to the prior night's chill, it had snuck into our house for warmth. Usually, when this happens, I find bloody remains scattered about the living-room floor. I can only guess that the cats chased the little guy under the couch where he died of a fear-induced heart attack. Given where he was, there was no way for the cats to fish him out, either.

At any rate: big thanks to my cats for forcing me to start the day with a game of "find that awful smell".

But I Know What They're Feeding You!

I am a pet owner. I have two cats and two dogs. The cats are a brother/sister pair of Bengals. The dogs are each rescues - one is 10 and one is 2.

My one cat, Grumbles, loves to sit in my lap. Failing that, he glues himself to my side. If I'm sitting down, I have a cat in close proximity.

Mostly, this is a good thing. However, there are days where he has ungodly gas. I'll be sitting there, minding my own business, and this smell, reminiscent of a tire fire, will waft over me from his direction.

It's during such moments that I'm reminded of the Smelly Cat song from the old NBC sitcom, Friends. However, I don't need to wonder "what are they feeding" him. He gets Eukanuba Lamb & Rice adult formula cat food. It's the same food he's been eating for nearly a decade. I dunno why it is that, some days, his gut converts it to a potential WMD.

Dear Cats...

And, by "cats", I am mostly referring to you, Bella....

Nothing pleases me more than the sound of cats happily noshing away at their morning breakfast. Mostly, this pleasure comes from the fact that you're no longer screaming at the top of your lungs, "FEED ME! FEED ME! FEED ME!". However, the fact that you are so excited to be fed in the morning seems to lead, immediately, to vomiting of said food (sometimes, so immediately that you actually end up yarking it back up into your bowl).

Seriously: "WTF?"

Why can you fuckers (mostly Bella), not manage to eat without subsequently barfing? How do you maintain weight if you're barfing up what you've just eaten? And, no, I am not going to feed you again, just because you're still hungry from having barfed up all you've eaten. Fuck you.

Devil's Babies

Why the hell do they always look so evil in photos? They're awesome cats. And, they're far more friendly and social (with people) than any cats I've ever met. Yet, every time I take a photo of them, they either look smug or straight-up evil:

Then again, judging by last night's cat-fight, they are evil. This photo was taken just before Bella (on the left) thought it was a good idea to pick another fight with her brother, Grumbles (on the right). Bella weighs 10lbs and Grumbles weighs 15lbs. Neither is anything near approaching "fat". I think they keep in shape by fighting for exercise.

At any rate, about five minutes after this photo was taken, Bella decided, "it's exercise time," or something. By fight's end, Grumbles had Bella suspended by her neck from the edge of the chair. He had her neck in his mouth and glared down at her like, "I could hold you here, like this, all day." So, he was holding another, struggling animal that was 2/3s his weight, by it's neck, in the air. Grumbles is a strong cat.