People Actually Like CostCo???

For years people have been saying "you guys need to get a CostCo membership." I'd always responded, I don't have room in my house for five-gallon vats of mayonnaise." The usual response to that is, "oh, they have more than just super-sized stuff."

At any rate, this week, there was a Groupon deal for CostCo memberships. So, I pulled the trigger. Got the email saying "here's your membership number, come down to the service desk at your local CostCo to activate your membership." Forwarded that email to my wife so she could do it as part of her errands (since her Wednesday errands take her right past a CostCo).

She goes to CostCo, today, intent on registering/confirming/activating the membership per the emailed instructions. She's told, "your husband will need to either come down to do it or go online and add you as an authorized user."

My wife and I share a last name (her decision, not mine) and, obviously, an address. While I understand CostCo is trying to cut down on account-sharing, denying the ability of someone with the same last name and address (printed on a government ID — a RealID one, no less) to activate the account is beyond stupid.

She gets home and sends me the URL for logging in. I go to the web-site and attempt to login. It asks for my email address and a password I was never forwarded. So, I hit the "forgot my password" link. I enter in the email address I registered with expecting a confirmation link or code to shortly arrive. 

Several minutes pass with no confirmation link or code. So, I figure, "Ok, maybe I need to create an account, first". I then try to use the account registration-tool. Enter my email address. An email address with a confirmation code shows up in under 5s. Take that code and enter it into the online registration form. Am greeted with an error message and instructions to call customer support so I can give them the code.

The "contact support" text-string is a clickable link. "Cool," I think. I click the link. It takes me to a page of phone numbers to call. None really seem to match why I'm wanting to call, so I pick one that looks most likely to get me where I need to be.

Call goes through and a robot picks up. I work through the IVR system until I realize, "this fucking thing is just a loop," after I've gone several iterations of hitting "3" then "4" and hearing the same number-punching guidance.

Livid, I return to the page to see if there's any kind of email address or chat tool I can use.

There's a chat tool. I click on it. Window pops up saying that I'm talking to a virtual assistant (fucking wonderful). It offers a screenful of options. At the bottom of those is a line saying "type 'agent' if you'd like to speak with a customer service representative" (nevermind that I clicked the chat-link to chat with a human, not a fucking robot).

I dutifully type in "agent". It then asks me what I'm wanting to talk with an agent about (DAMMIT). I hit enter without selecting a reason, but it continues the chat-routing. It prompts me for the email address I signed up for the membership with and the membership number that was sent via email.

Eventually, I get a human in the chat. She asks me for my email address and membership number (why the fuck was I prompted for those if the human was going to need to ask for them again???). I type the requested information at her. I explain the situation, finishing up with the mention of the error message. She asks for that message and error code. I give it to her. She tells me she has to talk to one of her support people and that it would be a few minutes.

A few minutes pass. She says she needs my phone number so she can call me and then patch me through to her support rep. I give her the number.

My phone rings. I hear a voice on the other end asking "is this Mr. Jones". I respond in the affirmative. She then says to please wait while she does a warm handoff to her support representative.

Eventually, the support representative gets on the line. Again, we go through the gory details. The support representative then asks if she can text me a one-time code as a verification. I verify the number she wants to send to. She indicates she sent it. Nothing arrives. After a few more minutes, a text message continues to fail to arrive.

She asks me if I have another textable phone number. I say that I do but it's not a number that I like to use. She indicates that it's just for a one-time text and that it won't be saved to my account. I give her my phone's actual SIM phone number. She says she just tried to send a text but that her system said it wasn't a valid number. I respond, "I use Google Fi for my SIM: they re-sell T-Mobile and maybe your system doesn't like that." She responds with the question, "do you have a land-line I can call?" I tell her, "it's 2026, so, 'no'."

She then says that she's going to have to further escalate my case and asks if the number that she's talking to me through can be used. I affirm that it is. She tells me it will be 1-2 business days before there's follow-up from the escallation.

So, yeah, I'm not best pleased with CostCo, right now.