Ruminations

I dunno whether it's that had to spend Thanksgiving not with family. 
 
I dunno whether it's the fact that it's just after the tenth anniversary of my dad's death. 
 
I dunno whether it's the realization that I'm on my a bit more than twelve years younger than when my dad died. 
 
I dunno whether it's that my 50th birthday Loom's less than two months away. 
 
All I really know is that death, dying and whether or what might come after has been filtering through my mind a lot lately.