Money Weirdo

Ok. I think I've gotten kinda weird about money - at least, weird for being a member of a consumption-oriented culture like the one I live in.

When I first got out of college, I was accustomed to carrying credit card debt, month to month. However, about ten years ago, I started to look at what I was doing and paying attention to just how much money I was pissing away on debt service. So, over the course of a couple years, I very systematically worked to wipe out all of my unsecured debt. By about my second or third year of marriage, I was carrying no revolving or unsecured debt (not much I can do about mortgage).

As part of that process, each time I cleared debt, the money I had been spending on credit card interest, I redirected towards savings. I put away as much as I can in my 401(k), I put about $300 (or so) per paycheck into my "rainy day" accounts and another couple hundred dollars per month into a brokerage account. Any money I put into my "liquid" account that I don't spend in a given month, I toss into my "rainy day" account.

I've structured most of my bills into predictable chunks. I've got my utilities, my comms (TV/Internet/cellular), insurance and such on "auto-pay" arrangements. I've set up budget billing for things like my utilities. I funnel as many of these things through "rewards" credit cards so that I can  make one, single payment per month and earn points on as many dollars spent as possible. I also try my damnedest to be able to not carry any revolving debt.

Net result: in any given year, instead of paying hundreds in dollars in debt-service or overdraft or late fees, I make nearly $500-$1000/year in rewards.

I've also redone my mortgage a couple times. The first was in an effort to take equity out so I could do some much-needed improvements (and, happened to be able to drop my interest rate by over one percentage point in the bargain). The second was so I could drop my interest rate another one-and-a-half percentage points. So, I'm doing decent there, as well, as far as freeing up funds go.

I even periodically review my expenses and see where I can make the system work for me to reduce outlays or otherwise just increase the value of every dollar I spend.

Basically, even though I make a respectable salary, I act like I don't. Much of my activities, essentially, are hiding money from myself. It's allowed me to have savings, but I've done so in a way that makes it feel like I'm still living paycheck to paycheck. So, when expenses do come up and I do dip into savings, I get the same kind of angst I'd have were I going into debt to others rather than debt to myself. The only way to overcome the angst (and not very well, I might add) is to remind myself that I'm only "in debt" to me. Still: eating into that "rainy day" fund triggers fears about "what if that rainy day comes before you can put yourself back in shape"?

I honestly don't get how people are able to get into big, optional debt piles, given how just reducing my savings makes me feel. Ugh.