Saturday, May 26, 2018

Monsoons an Christmas Lights

It appears that neither of our cars much cared for the 7" of rain in 24 hours and 11" of rain over a three-day period during our ten-day trip to Vegas.

As expected with my sixteen and a half year old convertible, I found water in the spare-well under the cargo-deck of my trunk. Fact of convertible-owning life is that, as they age, they start to leak. Still the amount I found pooled under the spare tire was far less than I'd feared. There was less than half an inch of standing-water at the deepest part of the puddle as my car sat parked on our moderately up-sloped driveway. Only really concerning thing is that, when I put the key in the ignition, the ABS and DSC warning lights were both lit. Drove the car around the block to make sure that the brakes were actually working. So, it seems either the sensors are moisture-damaged or just still wet.

The bigger surprise was my wife's Mini. It will be six years old this coming December. When we started it up, yesterday, it was complaining that it was unable to charge the battery. At the time this error came up, the local service-facility we use was closed for the day (well, their electrical tech was gone for the day).We were going to drive it to the shop, today, if the indicator stayed on. Came out after returning from morning errands to find that the alert was no longer showing. So, we opted to drive it to the grocery store on a route that would take us closish to where we get it service figuring "if the alert returns, we'll just head to the service facility". As we left the neighborhood, the first sign of trouble popped up: A/C fan decided "I'm not actually going to stay running at 'high'; I'll run at 'low' and indicate that I'm running at 'high'." Not a fatal issue, and far less worrying than the "not able to charge" alert of the previous day. Drove onwards to see if the problem would clear itself. As we approached the end of a lengthy downhill stretch of road, first one error cropped up, then another. Lost the power-assist on the steering. Then the ABS indicator lit. Then the AWD indicator lit. Then the DSC indicator lit. Then the throttle stopped responding. Was able to get the car off the road using the engine's idle-throttle power. Got it up a very slight grade and into a little shopping plaza's parking lot. As we were rolling to a stop, the instrument cluster winked out.


Once parked, I got out my phone to call the service-facility. They gave us the number of a towing-company to call. Called the tow-company and they estimated a 60-90 minute response. The car was becoming quite warm and stuffy as it sat A/C-less on the open parking lot in the 90° heat and 78% humidity. I decided to see if the windows were at least working. Naturally, they were also stricken. So, we opened all the doors to get some airflow. Noticed there was a McD's in the plaza and opted to seek shelter from the heat in there while we waited for the tow to arrive.


A couple minutes after placing our order for drinks and sitting down, the driver of the tow-truck called to verify our location and let us know he was about five minutes out. Not bad: maybe fifteen minutes from call to arrival when we were originally told 60-90. As he was prepping the Mini to go up on the flat-bed, I called Uber. The driver arrived just as the driver was readying to put the flatbed into its "ready to drive" position. We got to the service-center about ten minutes before our Mini did. By the time the tow-truck driver had offloaded it and turned it over to the service-center, we had the paperwork for our loaner-car in hand. Presumably, we'll know around lunchtime Tuesday what's up with the car. Really hoping it's just a "needs to dry out" situation and not a "need to completely overhaul the primary electrical bus" kind of situation.

C'mon to the 21st Century, Citi

So, recently, I opted to apply for an airline rewards card issued through Citibank. It's been... "interesting," thus far.

For starters, when I followed the application-link that came from my preferred airline, it took me to a Citi-hosted web page. The page itself wouldn't render in any of my normal browsers. I had to switch to a browser with all privacy-plugins deactivated and with most in-built security-settings disabled. Yeah. Good start.

Once I was able to actually login and fill out the form, I received a "thanks: we'll have our decision to you within 7-10 business days" exit-page. Seven to ten days??? For the past several years would-be providers of revolving-credit services have typically been able to make their decisions in less than 7-10 munutes. Why the fuck does Citi take days to do things everyone else takes minutes to do. I mean, that's several orders of magnitude to make the same kind of decision. It's not like they were offering me an outsized line of credit, either. Hell... the companies that provided my my solar loans only took a few minutes to generate their approvals. So, again, "WTF, Citi?"

When I'd applied for the card, I'd assumed I'd have it in hand for my trip to Vegas. Between the protracted decision-making time and the fact that they USPSed the card to me (again, Citi, "WTF: everyone else does this shit via FedEx or 2nd-day USPS because they want to start earning money off me - why you delivering the card via standard ground mail??"), I did not have the card in hand for that trip. Citi coulda made fees on ten days worth of hotel accommodations, several very nice restaurant tabs, quite a few bar tabs not to mention all the Uber rides and concert merchandise. But, nope, they had to be slow.

At any rate, we got home from Vegas and found the new card waiting in the stack of mail our pet-sitter had brought inside for us. I got the new card out of its envelope and activated it via Citi's card-activation portal. I set up all my profile information. I set up my security-verification questions and answers, various pins and other secondary authenticators. And, because I prefer to use my phone - rather than physical cards - I installed their e-wallet. I'd have just used my regular e-wallet, but Citi apparently thinks that only their e-wallet will do (presumably, they don't want to split fee-making opportunities with other e-wallet services), so, "whatever".

Once I'm outside the card's trial period (during which I earn the airline's mileage bonus), I'll probably revert to using my regular card(s). Those cards work with my preferred e-wallet and are just generally better service providers.

At any rate, today was the first farmers market we could hit since getting back from Vegas. It was a "refill the pantry" kind of trip. I figured, "use the new card and start knocking out my obligation towards getting the airline reward." Used the card with eight different vendors with no problems. Got to the last vendor we were going to hit, and my card was declined. Pop open Citi's e-wallet and it tells me "security-hold placed on card: please contact this number."

With much annoyance, I hit the number in the app. It rings through and puts me into their customer service call-tree. First thing it asks for, before routing me, is my credit card number. All I can think is, "seriously? I called from your fucking app and it couldn't have put me into your routing system with that information already populated?" So, I punch in my card number. I then answer the first security question (c'mon, guys, I've got an authenticated device on my person - why aren't you leveraging that capability). I'm then placed on hold while a represetative becomes available. Five minutes pass and eventually a CSR picks up the line.

First thing they ask for is my card number. I point out to them that me reading my card and CCV number out in a public place kind of defeats the purpose of calling in to verify my card's security. They audibly shrug and ask for both bits of info. I supply them. They then ask for further authenticators. I again preface my reply with commentary about the wisdom of being asked for this while I'm in a public place surrounded by randos. Now that I'm sufficiently authenticated, the CSR says that he has to forward me to the correct department.


Mmmmmkay... So, your app had me dial a number that wasn't even the correct department and before you could decide I needed to be routed to a different department, you had to authenticate me?

First CSR does a warm hand-off to the next CSR. Next CSR is apparently wrapped in cotton batting because I could barely fucking hear her. I ask her adjust her volume since my phone's maxed, I'm in a noisy place and she's barely audible. She does so. Once we're able to hear each other ...she asks for my account and CCV numbers. I don't bother to point out the stupidity of having to do so since she was getting me via a warm-handoff from someone that had already collected that information. I don't bother to point out the stupidity of having to audibly dictate that information (again) in a public place. She brings up my information an realizes that she needs to hand me off to yet a third representative.

Second CSR does a warm hand-off to third CSR. If you guessed that the third CSR needed me to dictate my card and CCV numbers, you'd be correct. Further, this CSR needed to send me an SMS to further verify me. Unfortunately, apparently Citi's SMS system doesn't think that my phone number is a valid phone number. So, she can't adequately authenticate me (???) via that method. Fortunately, since I'd set up a bunch of secondary authentication methods when I activated my account, she was able to verify me using one of the yet-to-be-used ones. She then informs me that they need to ground-mail me a paper form that I need to fill out and ground-mail back to them before they can unlock my card. Incredulous, I ask, "why did you issue me a card and provide an online activation mechanism if that wasn't going to be sufficient to actually use my card ...and why did you let me make eight charges before deciding 'whoa, that's enough, there, buddy!'?" She says she's sorry for the situation but she's bound by policy. I note to her that I will be contacting my airline and probably canceling the card once I've claimed my reward. She again states she's sorry that I feel the service has been inadequate and to look for the form in the mail.

Hoorary for quality customer service. Hooray for great security procedures.

Eventually, we complete our errands — doing the remaining transactions with one of my less asstacular credit cards — and return home. After unpacking everything and settling in, I get out my laptop an visit Citi's website. After logging in, it tells me "card is on security-hold, pleas call...". I figure, "worth a shot: maybe they can at least explain this morning's debacle." So, I pick up my VOIP phone and dial the number.

This time, no call-tree an no waiting on hold. Explain basic situation to CSR. He asks for my secondary authenticators so he can open my record. He then asks for my cell number so he can send me a one-time authenticator-number ...their system still thinks my number is invalid. So, he calls me on my number. He rings through, verifying that the number on my account is valid. He updates the information in my account to that effect. Now able to get into the particulars of why my account got put on hold, he notes that they were supposedly not able to validate my SSN. I can only express minor incredulity — "why would you issue a card if there was a problem with my SSN that wouldn't allow me to use my card." He reads to me what they have on file and I validate that the information is correct. This time, his system is able to validate my SSN (where it couldn't previously for whatever fucking reason). He indicates that with things validated, he can remove the hold and that there's no further need for an exchange of ground-service paper-based mails.

While I'm thankful that things are resolved, I ask him why there was so much of a runaround, previously. Obviously, he couldn't really provide an answer to that beyond, "I honestly don't know." I think him for his assistance and we conclude the call. Regardless, I'm obviously sub-impressed with Citi's policies, procedures and IT back-end.

Seriously: if this were 1998 or maybe even 2008, this might have made some kind of sense. As it is, though...