Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Two Hateful Things, Combined, Don't (Magically) Create a "Good Thing™"

Late night TV can be an interesting thing. It's like the dumping ground of TV. It's where old TV shows go to die. It's where infomercials really thrive. It's also where there's some bizarre advertising (even aside from the infomercial schtick).

Last night, as I sat tapping away at my laptop keyboard, the strains of a familiar, odious song began screeching from my TV. As a slow feeling of dread slimed its way over me, I realized what the tune was. It was the music from The Macarena.

Now, I find The Macarena to be a truly hateful piece of work. It's a pernicious earworm. And, if you actually listen to the lyrics, it's kind of a nasty song. So, when you see really whitebread people bopping around to it, it's a truly facepalm moment.

At any rate, the music wasn't quite right. Well, the tune was fine (as fine as such a tune can be) but the lyrics were all wrong. I looked up to see why this musical atrocity was emanating from my TV. Apparently, the advertisers for The Snuggie decided that The Macarena's tune would be a good one to support their commercial. However, they'd altered the lyrics to pimp out their Snuggies.

I'll admit, I have an irrational hatred for Snuggies. I could never really figure out why people would buy them. I mean, they look like someone took polar fleece and made backwards bathrobes out of them (kind of the bastard offspring of a cheap blanket and a hospital gown).

When I was younger, and it was appropriate, I wore bathrobes to cover up or keep warm. Bathrobes are great when you live in a college dorm and want to make the transit from your dorm room to your dorm floor's showers
For keeping warm in more sedentary settings, I use blankets or similar coverings. Hell, as I sit here, tapping away at my laptop, on a damp, chilly, raw day, I do so from under a nice quilt.

Snuggies just don't make sense. Get a bathrobe or get a quilt/blanket/duvet/etc. Don't turn a blanket into a robe. And, for gods' sake, don't turn it into a backwards robe. And, for the sake of humanity, don't pimp your wares with a hateful song.


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